Most Embarrassing Moments As Told By Women

Gaffe, blunder, faux pas, boo boo.. These are just some of the names that we assign to life's little embarrassing moments. We have all belched or let loose some wind at some inopportune moment. These are the defining moments in our lives when we wish to God we could vanish into oblivion.

The first embarrassing moment that I had was at 5 when I wet myself on a class trip. Of course like many of us, it was not to be the last time that I was totally humiliated. The following stories are from women who have recovered from these awkward moments and can now laugh about them. These are true stories and the names have been changed to protect the deeply embarrassed.



Charmaine's Story: I was in a packed church one night when I realized that I would have to get to the bathroom rather quickly. Now I had no qualms about getting up from the back of the church to walk all the way to the front where everyone could see how cute I looked in my new dress fresh from New York. I could hear the cryptic remarks and feel the disapproving looks as I sauntered through the aisle. Getting up and moving about was not allowed while the pastor was giving his fire and brimstone sermons. However I did not care. , Those jealous cows I thought smugly, adding just a little more swing to my hips as I passed each sneering member. Well, I got to the bathroom unscathed by the venomous, disapproving looks that were thrown at me especially from the female members of the congregation. Nevertheless on my way pass the pulpit, I tried to avoid the pastor's steely, bloodshot gaze. After about thirty minutes of prepping myself for my re-emergence as a gorgeous butterfly amidst those common moths, I started back to my seat.

As I passed the first pew I heard a titter but ignored it. I was too high on my cloud of self esteem to care. As I continued down the line of pews the tittering grew till I could ignore them no longer. What is happening here? I thought to myself. Did I miss some joke that the pastor had regurgitated as he so often did? All of a sudden I realized that everyone was looking at me. They were pointing, and yes, laughing with their mouths opened wide. Others just stared in amazement. Horror of horrors thought to myself what could the matter be? Well it seemed that in my haste to make an entry I had not adjusted my clothing properly therefore the hem at the back of my dress was tucked snugly into the waist of my stockings and my very revealing underwear-which I always wear to enhance my inner goddess- was on display for all seventy five members of my church to see. Embarrassed is not the word I would use to describe my feelings on that day. I guess I had gotten all the attention I thought I deserved. To this day I still believe I was taught a divine lesson and from now on I will pay more attention to God's word and less to myself- that is whenever I find a new church.



Lorraine's Story: I had spent weeks upon weeks telling my friends about this handsome guy with whom I was always flirting. The brother was fine. He was ripped and cut in all the right places and he had no problem flirting back with this sister. My friends and I always ate dinner at a certain Cafe' every weekend. We would catch up on all the juicy gossip of the week that had gone. He too frequented the Cafe'-this is where he first caught my eyes. Every time he was there He was always accompanied by some very pretty girls. So the fact that he saw me any at all was very flattering. I mean some of these girls were Calendar material. One day he invited me on a date and I told every one of my friends about this date with the 'man of my dreams. That night he came to my house not a minute after the time we had planned to meet and he had a single red rose. I almost died. I knew I was in love. However I was a little taken aback when he said he had changed our plans and wanted to take me to his apartment instead. He explained that it would be more intimate and he wanted to focus all of his attention on me. I did not even give it a second thought. I was his, hook line and sinker. Needless to say we ended up being intimate and the only thing left for him to do- I thought- was to propose to me and swear his undying love. Of course the next day when we congregated in our usual spot at the cafe', all my friends were treated to a blow by blow description of my night out with my 'Mr. Right I made sure to embellish all the details to make my friends drool with envy. 'He is in love with me, I said smugly. 'He told me so I said conspiratorially.

I suddenly realized that my friends were not really listening to me but instead were watching the entrance to the Cafe' while trying not to look at me. I turned curiously to see what had so engrossed them. What I saw was totally incomprehensible.

Wrapped around a calendar type babe was my man of the past night. He was kissing the playboy bunny-esque creature like there was no tomorrow and there had been no yesterday -with me that is. I wanted to crawl into myself and die. He looked in my direction briefly, our eyes locked and he did not even blink. My friends looked on sympathetically. I was frozen in disbelief. When I recovered from the shock I bravely took my things and made a quick getaway. The Moral of this story is simple. Know what you are getting into before making assumptions. Also keep some of your secrets secret. I probably would have been less embarrassed if I had not gone about spilling every detail to my friends.





Lorna's Story: My very immature boyfriend embarrassed me so badly that I finally worked up the courage to dump him. I was in nursing school and he in College when I decided to pay him a visit. Now the college he attended was very strict with its rules regarding women visiting the dorms. All female visitors had to leave by 9pm on week days. So it was that I was stretched out in my boyfriend's bed at ten thirty on a weekday enjoying his 'ambiance. Suddenly there was a loud pounding on the door and the deep male voice of the warden rang out in the night. How was I to know that they checked to see whether females stayed on the dorms, I had never stayed that late before.

I had no idea where to hide as the box of a room contained only a single bed and a closet which resembled a coffin turned on the short end. To say I was frightened was putting it mildly. He would be in serious trouble if I was discovered. I could not allow this to happen. I threw a trembling glance at him. He seemed as if he was about to lose his lunch. To this day I have no idea how I got into the closet. I only recall the scent of smelly gym socks and the overpowering scent of Kentucky Fried Chicken don't ask. I must have stayed squeezed in the closet for at least five minutes trembling like a fat girl in a room full of cannibals.

When all of a sudden there was a loud chorus of laughter. I peeped through the crack and discovered that the tiny room was filled with every male on the dorm. It took a few minutes for me to realize that I was the butt of my stupid boyfriend's prank. He laughed the loudest and longest. He had called everyone to show them his girlfriend stuffed into the coffin-like closet with one of her nurse's shoe sticking out for the world to see. I can now laugh at the absurdity of the situation but at the time I was livid. He became my ex-boyfriend very soon after that incident. I see him now and again with new girlfriends and I really hope that he has grown up somewhat since that moronic prank.



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