EXPRESS Ya Sef: July 2008

Mistakes-for Cara

By Nadine Thomas-Brown
April 6,2008

What mi give him di punani fa?
Wha mi gi him di punani fa?
Seh him love mi eyes but a lie him a lie
Whe mi give him di punany fah?

Mek mi fling it up and gi him di wuk
Mek mi fling it up give him di wuk>
Seh a love wi a mek but a joke him a mek
cause dis love feel like a fuck.

Mek mi cry in front of him
Mek him lie in front a mi
Mek mi feel soh shame
Love is a game next time mi a go learn fi play

Mek di world feel like a bag
A big old heavy bag
Mi lie to mi self ,mi a cry to mi self
With four months of bun baking

Gonna tek it out the oven
Put in a coffin, send it to di wife
Fuck with his life
The way he fucked with mine

Whe him give mi dis ya ring ya fa
Whe him gimmi da ring ya fa?
Say a love him a mek but a fuck him a get
Dis time nigger I aint playin’.

Make Me …

By Nadine Thomas-Brown

Work it baby, whip it on me
Make me feel like a halleluiah slave
Whip up some sweat, flip it make it slick
Lick it make it cream for you.

Scream for you, come on baby work it harder, that’s it
Kitty loves to purr
Now make that fat cat screammmmmmmmmm!!!
Bring it here baby

I wanna, I wanna , I wanna touch it
Stroke it
Squeeze it
Please it
Freeze it .right . there.
Ahhhhhhhh

Now work it, work it work it good

Primal pulsing, throbbing gobbing
Gulping, you not me,
ok me too. Ooheee , stroking, squeezing, screamingggggg

Say .my. name, no I am not God but I am a goddess who
Loves to get you off..

It's complicated

By Nadine Thomas-Brown

Rubix cube-esque
this man I want to call mine,
can't solve him.
languid and easy as the breeze he leaves me.
leaves without a kiss,
without an I'll miss you
not sure which he wants more
a score or a whore
to fuck with till sore
and he’s no one's love
devoid of love
avoid all love
grinds me into grits
then makes me into porridge
a salve for hungry birds to shit upon
From the armpits of my soul
i'd kill him if i
was not so short
kill him with my love
but I’m
short of
patience
short on time
time which has wound chains around my feet
and cobwebs in my pride .

© April 1, 2008

Resolutions

By Nadine Thomas-Brown
April 28,2008

Today I forced love out the door
Latched it behind him with reinforced resolve
And breathed a sigh of redemption

Then I mopped his footsteps from my
House. Erased all traces of his fingerprints
Took a moment to drink long draughts from this fresh brew of no regrets
Out of my new day, cup.

I washed his lovestains out my hair and put on
The rainments of a new woman, ethereal, real, becoming…

I ‘d grown tired of the company he left me
In

Mis- spent time cause
I was spending mine with
Pain and heartache, sorrow and heartbreak,
in orgies of sadness.

Strong I tried to stay put him out,send him away
But he’d return, sincere and new
Promising Lying, spouting change.,,
and fool me would drink it up, sup his lies from this bitter cup….

This time if he returns, I will not be kind
I will put on my father’s army boots,
kick the shit out of him and lock his ass in the car trunk
I’ll go all waiting to exhale on his ass and shit , Angela Basset on his ass and shit.

Find me some new ass. Shit!

The MUD- For displaced peoples worldwide

By Nadine Thomas-Brown
April 6, 2008

Come walk with me to never never land where
Coal black eyes reach out from a field of dreams
Where hungry children walk bare foot on unpaved streets
Bellies bursting with the pus of politics
the hope for a better way their only meat
their parents bitter cup their only drink..

Come walk with me through the mud
Where squashed generations thrive planted in the brown muck
Where men’s lives are fucked with in the carnival of multi colored houses
While tabloid ministers fat on young pussies
and over developed developments, their children safely ensconced in
foreign lands of which they speak ill, talk shit for the benefit of the stupid.

But soft, what is this? the mud? It’s leaking out
Stop it before it contaminates, procreates,
Too late it’s out walking about it’s in your genes
In your fiends, the ones you created when you pushed the backs of blacks against the wall
Kinda like in the days when
caucasians were the ones dishing out racism and all types of scisms
Now it is you fat cat, you who do that but you black.

One day soon The worm might turn , then your hopes too might burn like the people you spurn
hope you have toilet paper when the shit hits the fan.
Shit hits the fan, you mr piano man, you mr. music man you
Fast talking, stink fingers in your bungie man, sleeping with children man,
Ignoring women’s rights man , children’s rights man.
People’s rights man….

Man this shit’s fucked up….

MIA

By Nadine Thomas-Brown

Three year old crying in my lap
With my face on your face
My race on your race
I want to slap the shit out of you.

Girl child bawling out for mom
Is this what my life’s become
Shitty child, bitchy child
Who ya ma is?

Hair all over ya head
Won’t frigging go to bed
Pissy drawers, runny nose
OMG why the hell me

Titty sucking heffer
Pa watching tv heffer
If you weren’t so small
I’d cut your tiny hip. Heffer!!

little voice says mom I wuv you,
May I have some wata pwease
I had a nightbear and u saved me!!!

Reason starts to come back
Lift her caress her back
Wet Eyes look up face of trust
I’m a crummy mother.

At last she is So still now
Curled up she is at peace now
Angel child, love child now
What would I do without her?